day 56 - chi ku

I did not have my 2nd ppcp day. BUT there was a breakthrough. I had a wicked fight with my mom over nothing (as usual) and she hung up on me. But before I heard the dial tone, the conversation ended with her saying you're just not willing to "chi ku," (eat bitterness), meaning I was being a baby and not a martyr like her.

The details are too dumb to get into but usually I spend hours being angry/sad/bitter about our complicated relationship. And then I eat. A LOT. I did shovel some food but it was my evening veggie snack (which I was going to skip since I was tired). I didn't weigh it out which makes it not the perfect pcp day but eating a bowl full of broccoli and mushrooms is 10,000 times better than previous standard of two trays of Timtams, peanut butter cups or whatever else I could get my hands on.

I'm actually a little surprised that I went this route since my friend had given me special kitkats from Japan. I purposely buried them deep in the top cabinet and not easily accessible without getting a chair. In the end, I figured lazyness would win out. My tupperware full of pre-steamed veggies was the quickest, easiest option for emotional eating. I'm not proud that food is still an emotional crutch but I'm making better choices. So Louise, you can still catch up! We can be tied 1-1 in ppcp days. :P