day 59-62: moments of badass and not so much

Lame/badass Sunday -

I'm going to start with the good in the vain hope that y'all won't read through to the bad. My friend Sam is training for a marathon. I've agreed to run with her part time during her long runs. So in addition to playing volleyball and going to bikram, I've added running to the mix. Am I insane? Possibly. But there are moments when it makes me feel like a badass. 

Sunday night was one of them. While she ran, I worked out chez moi. Sam came to my apt on mile 7. We ran miles 7-10 to the park so I could do my pullups and kung-fu situps which I didn't get to do in NY. It was dark when we were truckin it up the hill and by the time we got to the fitness bars you couldn't see two inches in front of you. No matter. The pullup bar does not require one to see it to use it. When we finished our respective exercises, we felt pretty hard core. There were black stains on my hands from the workout gloves and my back was covered in dirt. Our sweat glowed in the moonlight as we fought off thoughts of possible crazies lurking in the trees. Our endorphins were kicking so we felt pretty invincible, especially me since I had done extra exercise.

In the interest of full disclosure, here are my less badass moments. In fact, they were downright awful and I wasn't going to mention them since they embarrass me to no end, especially if we're supposed to step up and set the example for the cohorts of pcpers behind us. I felt pretty virtuous exercise wise on Sunday but the diet got me, again. 

I was decompressing from the weekend and watching Entourage. Bad thoughts crept into my head about chocolate. If I have a few squares, it's better to do it on the weekend and start clean on Monday. I wasn't emotional eating. I had spent a great weekend with friends in NY. I wasn't tired. I'm really not sure what happened but eight squares of Ghiradelli's Twilight Delight later and damage was done. I didn't fall asleep until 6am that night/morning and thought maybe it was guilt. Later, I realized that my body a)wasn't used to that much sugar and b) 72% cacao has a TON OF caffeine in it. 

manic monday

I was a wreck on Monday but was doing ok diet wise until 4pm. It wasn't the usual midafternoon crash that stems from eating bad food. The lack of sleep, an irritating project and my coworker rifling through my drawer for chocolate (if she's going to eat my chocolate, why shouldn't I?) did me in. I had brought all my home chocolate into the office so I wouldn't have to toss it out but also wouldn't have easy access either. Big mistake. Four big peppermint patties and a peanut butter twix later, I was planning my evening around some ch-eating and Top Chef. When I got home, I had actually heated the frozen spinach lasagne and was  bout to plop on the couch when my friend texted that he was playing volleyball in the field behind my apt building. That was a huge saving grace (haha) since who knows what I would've eaten after. I tossed the lasagne, jetted out and had a darn good time playing ball. Sure, it delayed my workout, which I barely struggled through, but it did prevent another episode of psychotic eating. 

All the chocolate eating on Monday afternoon was so disappointing for a couple of reasons. We only have 30 days left and I want to make the best of them. I had made it pretty much to the home stretch on Monday without ch-eating but just gave up at the end. And I was mindful all day of what Tara had written in her post that reaching for food to handle emotions sends the message to yourself that you'll be destroyed by emotions unless you eat something. I didn't want to do it but I did it anyway.  

This is TMI but I've had pms for two weeks now and it is driving me up the wall. Emotions run amuck during the rollercoaster days of pcp, so a fortnight of pms is super fun. Seeing as how I have no significant other and am not getting busy, there's no actual reason for the hunt for red october. My body seems confused. 

Tuesday

After working out this morning and clocking 7 hours of sleep, I feel AMAZING. New York was fantastic but it threw off my pcp routine. Even though I did the exercises, my diet/routine was thrown off. I actually feel ok going into this weekend (this might change, stay tuned!) and ready to battle/do the explanations of why I'm eating differently than everyone at the tournament. There is a team dinner Saturday night and the tournament banquet on Sunday. I'm going to try to just eat the veggies at both. Stupid baggage fees mean limited space. I'm only packing breakfast and dinners (provided they're still apple/egg white) and will try to be as pcp compliant as possible for lunch during the day. There I said it, now I have to do it. 

I feel ready to rock the last 28 days. I have the energy to remind myself that the world will not run out of junk food in the next four weeks. Plus, I have unmet goals and eating crap won't get me there. If you have a toothache from reading the last couple paragraphs, sorry!

day 58 - feeling it

Quick update - My arms were BURNING today. Holy moly! There's been aches and failure but today there was definite burn. 

Off to NY for the weekend to visit a friend who's stateside for the first time in awhile. Man, I am dreading next week when I have to pack for the Boston volleyball tournament. I'm only gone two days and getting food squared away was A LOT of work. Louise, I don't know how you manage all the travel. You truly are a STAR!

Nearly had a perfect pcp day yesterday but only clocked in six hours of sleep. Patrick, does it count if we nail the exercises and the diet but fall short on the zzz's? 

Has anyone else experienced back pain related to the leg exercises? I know that sounds weird but when I was stretching in bikram it felt like a massive lump on the lower left side of my back. Since yesterday wasn't a back day, my guess is that the leg workouts triggered the pain. It's probably nothing and my body just being lopsided but still. 

Sorry for the scatteredness of this post. Mind is all over the place and can't focus. 

Have an awesome weekend y'all!

day 56 - chi ku

I did not have my 2nd ppcp day. BUT there was a breakthrough. I had a wicked fight with my mom over nothing (as usual) and she hung up on me. But before I heard the dial tone, the conversation ended with her saying you're just not willing to "chi ku," (eat bitterness), meaning I was being a baby and not a martyr like her.

The details are too dumb to get into but usually I spend hours being angry/sad/bitter about our complicated relationship. And then I eat. A LOT. I did shovel some food but it was my evening veggie snack (which I was going to skip since I was tired). I didn't weigh it out which makes it not the perfect pcp day but eating a bowl full of broccoli and mushrooms is 10,000 times better than previous standard of two trays of Timtams, peanut butter cups or whatever else I could get my hands on.

I'm actually a little surprised that I went this route since my friend had given me special kitkats from Japan. I purposely buried them deep in the top cabinet and not easily accessible without getting a chair. In the end, I figured lazyness would win out. My tupperware full of pre-steamed veggies was the quickest, easiest option for emotional eating. I'm not proud that food is still an emotional crutch but I'm making better choices. So Louise, you can still catch up! We can be tied 1-1 in ppcp days. :P

day 55 - gunning for ppcp day 2

New pics are up. I couldn't be bothered last week when I was in meltdown mode. I don't really have the hang of the ab-pack pose or maybe I just don't have the pack. Either way, I don't see much of a difference which makes me a bit fearful that M&Ms will rear their ugly effect in next week's photos. Oh well. 

Had perfect pcp day yesterday AND went to yoga. Am feeling a wee bit proud but will try not to be too smug since arse-kickings are usually right around the corner. Going for two in a row. There I said it, now I have to do it. 

day 54 - one perfect day

Holy moly! Just finished the workout and I can barely grip a pen and write without the shakes. I thought the exercises were the one part of the pcp I was getting right but considering my jelly arms can barely tap keys, I must not have been going full tilt. I hadn't been half-assing the sets before but this probably has something to do with me doing the minimum instead of the maximum reps. Failure feels good. I don't think I've felt this way since I first started lifting more than a decade ago. 

Diet wise, I'm on track. I just have to close and can finally have the first PERFECT pcp day in awhile. There I said it, now I have to do it. 

day 53 - where does it come from?

The indulgence comes from a happy place? My friend said that to me. I agree that the indulgence should come from a better place than me covertly emotionally eating stale chocolate alone on the couch. But maybe best not to attach any emotion to it? Hmmm... still pondering.

I am also debating whether or not I should since I had that meltdown-M&M binge. Do I deserve it? Heck NO! But I want the indulgence BAD. I'm also worried that it could trigger another shameful episode of eating. Man this blog feels so narcissistic. ME, ME, ME. I'm kind of sick of me right now.

day 51 - good for more than just stress

Two good things happened today because of the pcp:

1) Got a free salad from mixt green
2) Ran into a friend I hadn't seen in months.

I didn't wake up early enough to workout but I did arrive on time to work. Unfortunately, the D was out sick so not there to appreciate the punctuality. My noontime workout was nice but I didn't really break a sweat until planks. Those were murder! I was wondering why I wasn't dripping with sweat earlier but the AC was pretty powerful.

I was starving an hour after I got back to work so hit up the corner store to buy a hardboiled egg. (In my haste to get to work, I forgot my hardboiled egg and afternoon tea.) Still hungry so decided to go to Mixt green for their heirloom tomato and corn salad on a bed of mixed greens. It was 4pm and they had totally broken down so nothing was left. I was so disappointed but then the dude told me I could have one of the premade salads in the cooler for free. SCORE! It was fresh from the day's lunch service so I was stoked. (He also offered me a cookie but I said no.) And then I noticed this girl sitting at one of the tables. OF all random things, it was Alisa, the one who originally introduced me to Mixt Green months ago. We caught up and made plans and that was awesome! I wouldn't have been there had it not been for the pcp. Don't worry, I ate the salad minus the croutons, dressing and cheese. I'm not really a fan of blue cheese but I did love the portobellos, red peppers and onions.

Thanks y'all for the support during my meltdown. The empathy and kind/humorous words mean A LOT!

ain't no valley, am in the abyss

Here I go blogging it out. I live alone so no can hug it out.

Ugh... I might be getting in trouble at work. I have never been a punctual person. I can be on time if the situation demanded it but in general, I tend to run on my own time, especially for going to work. When I'm running late in the morning, I can't seem to make myself move faster. It's almost like my mind is in defiance. Already late, what's the point of hurrying? I don't get it since I can wake up early for volleyball tournaments and yoga classes but not work. I do get my work done and I stay late too.

Since I've been trying to at least do jump rope and legs in the morning, I've become even tardier. Today, my manager intimated that the director has noticed (it's hard not to since I sit near the door) and might be on the verge of saying something. It is completely within her right to do so and I am totally at fault. I have no one but myself to blame but the pcp has definitely exacerbated the situation. I'm a contractor and our company is moving to a new building next year and they've been cleaning house lately. They've fired a bunch of staff. As a contractor with no benefits, I wouldn't even get severance or unemployment since they could just give me one month notice. And in this economy, it is a sucky time to be looking for a job. So glad I took out massive student loans for my graduate degree.

I hate being scared cause it brings out some ugliness. I get defensive and then offensive. I really don't like being negative or focusing on a person's bad qualities. It's totally useless and counterproductive. Normally with some effort, I can change my inner dialogue and the way I think but not these days. All my energy is spent staying the course (or trying to) on the pcp. I think I gotta switch back to evening workouts and accept that that's how it's going to be since I can't make myself get up early enough to do AM ones. Oh, and at the staff meeting this week, the D mentioned budget issues and not sure what it means for the new fiscal year. She was vague which makes it seem scarier as this year closes and my contract negotiation nears.

Side note, I think I'm going to need code names if I write about work related folks.

day 50 - cycle of shame and confession continues

I really thought I could be strong. We have an indulgence coming up. I've made such good progress. But here comes another confession. Sigh . . . I am a broken record. 

Last night's stats: 3 slices bread, 2 small packs trail mix (walnuts, cashews, dried cranberries, pistachios), 1 extra serving fruit,  and the worst part yet ... 

I devoured close to a quart size bag of mint crispy m&ms. What flavor is that you ask? They were limited edition ones from the last Indiana Jones movie two years ago. I found them buried back in my cabinet a couple nights ago when I was reaching for my mini food processor to chop garlic. My fellow candy fiend had found them and I guess I hadn't finished the three jumbo bags she gave me two years ago. 

I started with counting out small portions (10. 20, 25) in hopes I wouldn't do major damage. I paused and acknowledged that it was emotional eating and then I kept going. F--- it, I'm just gonna finish the rest otherwise I'd know they were there. I can NOT OPEN things but if something's already open, I can't handle it. I thought I'd feel sugar burn or get sick (but maybe stale ones become less sugary?). In the past, it sometimes happened after two rows of chewy chips ahoy, which is about 30 cookies. When I talked to a friend later, he asked if it made me sick. They didn't. I felt fine the whole time and after. I kept waiting for the gut bomb or the physical trigger to say STOP destroying yourself but clearly my system has ridiculously high tolerance. 

It's not fair to blame pms but it's definitely a contributing factor. I looked back on July blogs and it was around that time that I was ch-eating too. Going off the reservation a couple weeks ago was related more to my social awkwardness. 

I've identified two other contributing factors to my cycle of shame. 1) Each Wednesday when we get new diets and workout plans, I get a bit stressed having to wrap my head around more change and a disruption to routine. I know it's mostly the same stuff week-to-week with a few tweaks of the diet and more reps/sets in the workouts mean but what we're doing requires some level of precision (weighing food, counting, etc) cause I want to do it right. Plus, I have to figure out which days I need to go to the gym for pull-up stuff or kung-fu situps since I can't do them at home. There wasn't a door frame to install the bar in my apt.

I remember Patrick saying not to be too rigid with the weighing (give or take a few grams won't really count) but when I'm too flexible in certain areas, that opens a door to becoming a little too lax in others. I know it's a conscious choice to be stressed but I can't seem to help it sometimes. Everything is pretty time consuming so a mid-week change throws me into a bit of a tailspin. How do I deal with that? I eat. 

This leads to contributing factor No. 2. Pcp Sunday (rest day except for the jump rope) falls on a Wednesday in my 9-6 work world. It's not safe to feel tired and have an evening alone on the couch. I did my workout in the AM and was going to go to yoga but I talked myself out of it, citing fatigue. This meant a 3.5 hour window of time after work with nothing planned on a crappy day. Hence the binge. I'm usually dragging by midweek anyway cause of work and other life commitments. I should have more time to take care of the diet aspect of the pcp and prep my meals until the weekend but I just don't want to deal with it. I'm tired. (Wah, wah, wah, I know.)

day forty-freakin nine - Is it over yet?

There are days when the pcp gets on my last nerve. This morning was one of them. I had to wake up at 630 this morning cause my friend who crashed with me had an 8am meeting. I made her coffee and breakfast and then sent her off and had plenty of time to jump rope and work a little 8 min abs. Everything was going smoothly while I made my breakfast and got ready. I even had the chance to be early into work. Then,  DISASTER. I reached for my prepacked lunch and somehow the container slipped from my fingers and couscous, cucumbers and tomatoes went flying. It spilled onto two levels of my fridge, the crisper, my kitchen counter and the floor. F-@#$%@#$%. There goes being on time to work. I was pissed and immensely resentful of all the work it would take to clean up the mess. I know something so silly shouldn't send me over the edge but we spend so much damn time cooking, cleaning, working out that any more time the pcp sucks up just irritates the crap out of me.  

And whoop-dee doo, a new pcp week starts tomorrow. If Patrick takes away anything else from our dinner, I'm gonna have to be talked off the ledge. 

Micio, bless his heart, thought he would be helpful and clean the floor for me. Here is a pic of Shithead (pronounced Sha-teed) hovering up the scattered veggies. 

On the upside, these pants that I kept in my closet for "when I lose the weight" were actually loose when I put them on today! I bought them last year for my Kilimanjaro trek and couldn't bear to give them away even though they've never really fit properly and usually cut off circulation to the lower half of my body. Whoo-hoo! 

day 47 - scattered

I spent all day Sunday doing pcp prep for the week and yet somehow I'm totally all over the map today. Did the shopping, cooking and packaging of the meals to save time and start the week off right. I got enough sleep but I was fumbling over everything this morning and didn't manage to do any jumprope, let alone the workout. Ai-yah! 

I'm helping a friend pack/shop for a move to Senegal tonight so I really needed to be done with pcp stuff. I'm not sure why I'm stressing. I'm going to do the workout (There, I said it. Now I have to do it - ala Louise :P) But I can't seem to find focus or get organized. Another friend is coming into town tonight and my apt is a total disaster so maybe I'm feeling the pressure of having to run errands, workout and clean. 

day 45 - mission accomplished (squared)

Pizza and Beer. Pizza and Beer. Pizza and Beer.

No, I didn't consume any but I thought about it, A LOT. Played another all day volleyball tournament and my ride wanted to join her crew at UNO's, home of tasty deep dish pizza. Pre-pcp Grace would have been all about a nice big gooey slice with tons of pepperoni and cheese and a refreshing beer after a long day of play. I'm actually salivating right now thinking about the pizza.

My friend is a lovely and amazing person and felt very responsible for getting me home. I just wish she didn't keep telling everyone she couldn't go cause of MY diet. Of course I got the usual protests - "You're so thin already, why are you dieting?"; "You're skinny minnie, you need to eat and you played all day." Some of the group said they were gonna go and eat salad. But ain't no way I'm turning down pizza and beer when it's in front of me. So I asked around (and begged) for someone, anyone to drive me to the metro. I was lucky that a really nice guy happened to live not far from me and even dropped me off at my apt. Thanks Joe!

It has been a momentous day. I reached goal weight on day 45! I wanted to be 133 by my 33rd birthday. (I like the synchronicity in numbers.) I'm a whole month early and it would have been so easy to slide down that slippery slope. Of course I can have pizza, I reached my goal AND I played all day. But for these next 45 days, I am committed (or as much as I can be as a flawed human) to staying the course. I really don't want to go through the cycle of shame and self-hate when I go off the reservation cause it won't just be a little nibble. Y'all know that. It would be full tilt binge/indulgence. Am I saying I won't ever have pizza and beer again? HELL NO! But for the latter half of this project, I won't.

I was not thrilled that my ride kept telling everyone I was on a diet, which I am, but it's so much more. It's a total lifestyle change. Sarah mentioned awhile back about discussing our other reasons for doing the pcp, besides losing weight and getting hot and strong. (Btw, "Hot and Strong" is how my friend Sam introduced me to everyone at the housewarming a couple weeks ago. I kinda like it. :P)

High blood pressure, diabetes and alcoholism run in my family. I'm very fond of sweets and drinking. I used to say with pride that I come from a long line of women who can eat savory and sweet. Both my grandmothers had adult onset diabetes and my dad was an alcoholic. I'm no good at self control and I definitely used to have the mindset of better eat and drink now while I can cause I won't be able to later. Obviously, it's not very healthy or sound.

day 43 - bite me/WWSD

Today was a suckaroo day. Got woken up early by thunder and lightning. It poured sheets and no way was I going to the gym for the chest dips. I did the jump rope this morning but it stunk big time. I tripped every six jumps. The two-minute sets shouldn't have been too hard but I never found a rhythm.

At work, I was hungry all freakin day. It probably doesn't help that the AC (which I am normally grateful for) was blasting beyond reason. I was shivering at my desk most of the day and usually would turn to some food for warmth and comfort. It took a supreme amount of self control to resist the bowl of Hershey's miniatures that my colleague set out. She came up and offered it to me and I said "No thanks". But every time I walked by the common area, it was a concerted effort not to reach into the bowl and grab a few. I had an extra cup of coffee but that didn't help.

Raced home to avoid getting stuck in another storm. Promptly collapsed onto the couch and so wanted to nap. I was procrastinating from the rest of the workout even though I knew the longer I delayed, the longer it would be before eating sad dinner. I texted my friend and asked for words of encouragement. His response - "What would Sarah do?" I responded with an expletive-laced text but it got me off the couch. Y'all read right. Sarah, I was so inspired by your pics and your awesome post-two-kid-bikini bod that I couldn't shut up about it to my friend. He was teasing me as a joke but now it's fallen into the go-to three phrases of motivation category.

The weather seems to have cleared up a bit. Perhaps symbolic lifting of my foul mood? Who knows? I gotta stop watching cooking shows. It makes me very resentful of this damn process and the limitations on my freedom. All that beautiful fresh food being prepared that I can't have. I have been at the same weight for 12 days now! Ugh.. I'm sure it's related to my episodes of going off the reservation but someone throw me a bone already.

damnit - spoke too soon

the kung-fu sit-ups appear on day 47. JOY.

day 42 - redefining pathetic

I used to dread a new pcp week cause it meant a bunch of new, unmanageable-contortionist exercises. Oddly, I wasn't horrified by the workout. (That is by no means a challenge to you Patrick!) I'm no superstar but have become immune to the inventive ways that Patrick and Chen find to torture us. Of course, I have no idea what the kung-fu situp is but I know it's lurking.

The diet, on the other hand, kills me. Tonight, I hardboiled five eggs and weighed them. Normally I wouldn't bother with such nonsense but after seeing the new diet plans and more grams being trimmed, my brain and stomach were sending SOS messages to each other.

I'm not sure I experienced real hunger pangs (the mind is powerful) but my stomach definitely said "EAT THE BIGGEST ONE" (cause theoretically it should have the most egg white, right?) and save the smaller ones for breakfast. Lemme tell you folks the range was pretty decent, from 56-61 grams. I weighed the apples too although I have to eat them regardless of weight. Here's hoping that I get the smallest one on a less hungry day.

At work today, I actually lifted the bowl to my mouth and licked it clean to make sure not a single grain of couscous was missed. Yup, a new low. Redefining pathetic, that's me!

day 40 cheese whiz and planks

Remember the old commercial where the fake cheese pushers try to say that 1 min feels like a million seconds when you're zapping that goo? And then when you really can't bear it anymore, it's done. That's how I feel about 40 second planks. I thought I needed an adjustment period. But we're on our what, 50th set of 40-second planks and that 10 second increase still feels like an eon. Thirty seconds didn't exactly fly by but it wasn't as slow either. Every time I look up at the clock, I am shocked at how FEW seconds have gone by. How is it possible that only three seconds have ticked by?

Couscous really is glorious. So easy to make and so much of it. One cup yielded almost four lunch servings. Eaten with my heirloom tomato, corn and mixed green salad and lunch has truly become the favorite part of my day. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same about dinner. Those are just sad. I'm getting to bed earlier these days so I can avoid thinking about my hunger and be that much closer to breakfast.

day 38 - because i am a big fan

of stating the obvious -- eating well makes a huge difference on performance. I know it's a very Duh! statement. But when you experience it for the first time in awhile, it bears mentioning. It is crazy how much more energy I have since my body processes far less junk than ever before.

Got 2nd today with my partner Stephanie. We played together over a month ago (pre-pcp) for the first time and made playoffs. Today, we totally had a chance to win it all and get our tournament entry fee back but a few late game mental lapses did us in. No matter. It was gorgeous, gorgeous weather and just a darn lot of fun on the court. I may not be hitting the ball that much harder but it felt good out there. Despite occasional bouts of sun-related fatigue, I had loads of energy on five hours of sleep.

Is this what happens when you're body isn't taxed by having to expel sugar and chemicals? It seems miraculous. Conditioning makes a huge difference both mentally and physically in doubles. You can hide behind your teammates in 6s but doubles forces you to cover a lot more court and you're involved in every point.

Just have to remember that I DON'T dive. The grass cuts on my body are proof that nothing good can come of it.

day 36b/37 - going off the reservation

It started with a chicken skewer. Two hours later at a housewarming party, I had ventured so far off the reservation that it was shameful.

There's no excuses for tonight but I felt a little blindsided by my diet no-nos. I took precautions. I deliberately went late so that I wouldn't be there long and if there was food served, it would likely be gone. I chewed my apple and egg white very slowly during the 1.5 mile walk to their place. I had every intention of just popping in, blessing their new apt and dropping off a bottle of prosecco, which btw is the BEST summer beverage out there.

But I was so hungry after the "incredible shrinking dinner" and today's workout was so meh that my powers of resistance completely faded upon arrival. It started with that chicken, which i could rationalize since I didn't have 70 of the 90g of protein allotted for lunch. It went south so quickly that it stunned me. My friends love food and it's all good stuff, locally sourced, organic, etc. There was a delicious mango-avocado-tomato-cilantro salsa, a light but creamy raita and some grilled corn on the cob and potatoes. The worst was the tortilla chips that I used as a vehicle to move the salsa to my mouth. I like tortilla chips and all but it's definitely a snack I can skip.

I didn't drink but that's also what contributed to this derailment. These parties can be awkward (especially if you're not drinking) so I did what I do best and parked it by the food table. There really wasn't much left in the salsa bowl so I sorta got the showing up late part right. BUT I have no trouble batting cleanup and totally hooovered down the last dregs of food.

I avoid temptation religiously because I know I'll cave. (Lesson learned after the last potluck.) I have done my darndest to avoid social interactions where there's a chance of going off the pcp reservation. I spend most nights hanging out with Micio. But it's pretty lonely. My old life, which I don't necessarily miss that much, centered around boozing and eating junk. I do miss being with friends and they have been super supportive in taking me out for teas and coffees. But they're not always around.

This is frickin frustrating as all heck. I'm sorry guys for not honoring the work that we do. A friend of mine has been reminding me to go balls to the wall each time I feel weak. But 90 days is a long time to be badass.

The food I ate maybe wasn't all that bad but it veered me off peak conditioning path. I get that we're supposed to be trimming down this week, hence dealing with a few hunger pangs is worth it to see signs of a six pack in T-54 days.

day 36 - AMAYW

Can I just say I am really digging as-much-as-you-want veg?  This small measure of freedom feels fantastic. I'm already putting it to use. At Mixt Greens, they have these beautiful salads that I've had to take home, weigh out and stop myself from devouring the whole thing. Today, I get to eat it all! Obviously, it is without dressing and the ahi amount is within pcp rules. 

Now if only we could have AMAYW reps for the pistol squats. I haven't done today's workout yet but those already look awful to me. And they sound that way too. I had a friend try it out while talking over the phone and he was struggling. Did I mention he was an All-American in his sport and still in great shape? Fantastic, eh? Legs are gonna love me today. 

day 35 - a little late to the partay

I know a bunch of you (maybe all?) already workout in the morning but today was my first. It is awesome! You feel so accomplished and energetic and you're free to do anything you want after work. I'm gonna incorporate morning workouts into my routine, or at least try to. 

I had to do yesterday's workout this morning cause after 1,000 jumps I was doubled over in pain last night. This is TMI but ever since the uptick in milk/yogurt consumption my system has been letting me know how much it does not enjoy dairy products. I know I'm LI but sheesh!! I alternated between being curled up in fetal position and spending long sessions studying my bathroom walls the rest of the night. 

day 34 - knees screamin please

STOP. I don't know if it's the increased intensity of the workouts or what but the patellas ain't too happy with me these days. The floorjumps and creep in combo with lunges and squats have made the knees a bit achy. Hope it's not a real issue and just good-ole-genuine-working-hard soreness. 

Team BADASS, does anyone else feel like Tuesdays are the new Thursdays in pcp world? Like you can muscle through today's workout cause pcp weekend is nearly upon us. Normally I hate Tuesdays cause we have our weekly staff meeting that drags on forever. Today's was a 2-hour whopper. But somehow I feel buoyant knowing that tomorrow's workout is only jump rope. Hooray for mid-week Fridays!

Here's another pic of Micio. When I went home at lunch in a foul mood from the meeting, watching Micio fold himself into this position made me laugh. Also throwing in a bonus pic of Micio climbing into my gym bag. He's got this look of "I just did a No. 2 in your bag, have a good workout!"